Understanding the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) by Sophia Kopelow (Associate Counsellor)
If you’ve ever felt a little out of place and like the world is “just a bit too much” sometimes, you might be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). Whether you’re an HSP seeking to understand yourself better or someone supporting a loved one, this is a resource for you. I’m here to answer some common questions about what it means to be an HSP, the gifts and challenges that come with the trait, and how therapy can help you feel more grounded, confident, and at ease in your own skin.
Each HSP is unique, so some of these qualities and answers may resonate while others may not. Only take what lands for you.
Q: What does it mean to be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)?
A: Being an HSP means your nervous system is more finely tuned. You process things deeply—emotions, experiences, and even sensory input like noise, lights, or textures. This trait is completely normal (found in about 20-30% of the population) and isn’t a disorder or diagnosis—it’s simply a different way of experiencing the world. The term was coined by the psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron in the 1990s.
Q: How do I know if I’m an HSP?
A: You might identify as an HSP if you:
Feel overwhelmed in busy or loud environments
Are deeply moved by art, music, or nature
Pick up on subtle shifts in people’s moods or body language
Need downtime after socializing
Are highly empathetic and intuitive
If you’re curious to explore further, Dr. Elaine Aron’s Highly Sensitive Person self-test is a great starting point Take the Self-Test Here
Q: What are the common challenges HSPs face?
A: Many HSPs struggle with:
Feeling overstimulated or emotionally exhausted
People-pleasing or difficulty setting boundaries
Anxiety, especially in high-pressure or fast-paced environment
Feeling misunderstood or “too sensitive”
Perfectionism
These challenges can impact self-esteem and relationships, especially in a world that often values toughness over tenderness.
Q: What are some of the strengths of being an HSP?
A: There are so many! HSPs tend to be:
Deep thinkers and emotionally insightful
Creative and imaginative
Loyal and compassionate friends
Thoughtful decision-makers
Intuitive and attuned to others’ needs
Able to find wonder and joy in the small things
When HSPs learn to honor their needs and regulate their nervous systems, these strengths truly shine.
Q: Does being sensitive mean I’m not as emotionally strong as others?
A: Not at all. Many HSPs have been given the message (explicitly or implicitly) that their sensitivity is a weakness but in fact, being sensitive often requires more emotional strength—not less.
Emotional strength isn’t about being unaffected or "toughing it out"—it’s about the ability to process your feelings, stay connected to yourself, and move through life with compassion, even when things feel intense. Sensitivity doesn’t make you fragile—it makes you deeply human.
Highly Sensitive People feel things deeply, notice subtle shifts in energy, and often carry a strong sense of empathy for others. That can be a lot to hold—and yet, HSPs show up for their relationships, navigate complex emotions, and often keep going even when overwhelmed. That is strength. In therapy, many HSPs come to realize that what they think of as “weakness” is actually emotional wisdom, intuition, and care that simply needs the right kind of support to flourish.
Q: Can men and non-binary folks be Highly Sensitive too?
A: Yes, absolutely. Sensitivity is a human trait—not a gendered one.
Anyone, regardless of gender identity, can be a Highly Sensitive Person. In fact, research by Dr. Elaine Aron (who first identified the trait) shows that roughly 50% of HSPs are men—though cultural expectations around masculinity can sometimes make it harder for men to openly identify as sensitive.
For non-binary and gender-diverse folks, sensitivity may feel like both a strength and a challenge, especially when navigating environments that aren't always emotionally safe or validating. Being highly attuned to others and the world can bring deep insight, empathy, and creativity—but it also requires boundaries and self-care.
In therapy, there’s space to explore what sensitivity means to you, in the context of your lived experience, identity, and values. Sensitivity isn’t something to hide—it’s something to honour.
Q: Is being highly sensitive the same as being shy, introverted, or having anxiety?
A: Not necessarily. While some HSPs are introverted, about 30% are actually extroverts. Sensitivity is more about how deeply you process information—not whether you enjoy being around people. Similarly, HSPs may experience anxiety or feel shy in overstimulating settings, but sensitivity itself isn’t a mental health issue. That said, understanding your trait can help you work with—not against—your temperament, and reduce anxiety that may come from overstimulation.
Q: Can I “grow out of” being highly sensitive—or should I try to change it?
A: Sensitivity is a hardwired trait—it’s not something to fix or get rid of. Instead of trying to toughen up or push past your limits, therapy can help you better understand your needs, set boundaries, and build self-trust. Many HSPs feel a huge sense of relief when they realize there's nothing wrong with them—they’re just wired differently. Honoring your sensitivity can actually be a path to deep personal growth and healing.
Q: What’s the difference between being an HSP and having a diagnosis like Autism or ADHD?
A: Great question! There can be some overlap in traits—like sensitivity to sensory input or challenges with overwhelm—but HSP, Autism, and ADHD are distinct experiences.
HSPs tend to be deeply empathetic, emotionally attuned, and introspective. Their sensitivity is rooted in deeper processing of emotional and sensory information.
Autism is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects social communication, sensory processing, and patterns of behavior. While some Autistic individuals are highly sensitive, Autism is broader in scope and includes specific differences in social interaction and communication.
ADHD involves differences in attention regulation, impulsivity, and executive functioning. People with ADHD may be sensitive too, but the core challenges are more about focus, restlessness, and managing time and tasks.
Only a qualified professional can assess for Autism or ADHD, and it’s also possible for someone to be both an HSP and have a diagnosis like ADHD or Autism. If you’re curious about how your brain works or how these traits show up for you, therapy can be a safe place to explore that with curiosity and compassion.
Q: How can therapy help a Highly Sensitive Person?
Therapy can be a truly transformative space for HSPs. So many people come to therapy saying things like, “I’ve always felt different,” “I’ve been told I’m too sensitive,” or “I don’t know how to stop overthinking everything.” Sound familiar?
Here’s how therapy can help:
A space to be truly seen and heard
In therapy, your sensitivity is not just welcomed—it’s honored. It becomes a strength, not a burden. You don’t need to tone yourself down or “toughen up” here.Understanding your trait
Together, we can explore what it actually means to be an HSP and how it’s shown up in your life. We look at patterns, experiences, and beliefs you’ve picked up (especially around being “too much”), and start to rewrite the story with more compassion and clarity.Learning tools to manage overwhelm
We’ll build a personalized toolkit of strategies to help you regulate your nervous system, set boundaries, and care for your emotions—so you can navigate life with more ease.Reconnecting with your gifts
Therapy helps you reconnect with what’s right about you: your intuition, depth, empathy, and creativity. We work on strengthening your inner voice so that you can live more confidently, authentically, and in alignment with who you really are.
Q: What are some everyday tips that help HSPs feel more balanced and supported?
A: Learning what nourishes you (and what drains you) is key to thriving as an HSP.
Living as a Highly Sensitive Person in a fast-paced, noisy world can be challenging—but with the right tools and supports, it’s absolutely possible to feel more calm, confident, and grounded.
Here are a few simple but powerful practices:
Create quiet time in your day to decompress, especially after stimulation.
Practice mindfulness or gentle grounding techniques to regulate your nervous system.
Say “no” without guilt to protect your energy—boundaries are a form of self-care.
Connect with nature—many HSPs find it calming and restorative.
Limit screen time and overstimulating environments when you need a reset.
Q: Are there any helpful resources I can check out?
A: Absolutely! Here are a few:
📚 The Highly Sensitive Person by Dr. Elaine Aron
🎧 The Sensitive & Soulful Show by Alissa Boyer
🌐 Websites: hsperson.com – Dr. Aron’s site with articles and self-test / highlysensitiverefuge.com- Blog posts, book and resources
📖 Sensitive Is the New Strong by Anita Moorjani
📻 Highly Sensitive Soul Podcast by Lisa Matthews
